December 23rd, 2015
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This Christmas is shaping up to be the best one ever. Daddy’s Home is beckoning me from the strip mall cineplex, it’s snowing and for once I’m not talking about cocaine, and my mom is finally letting me put rum in my eggnog despite the fact that I’m 26 and pay for my own cell phone bill. But while I enjoy this bounty of fun, big Christmas things are happening. Artists all over the place are releasing ridiculous holiday music and stunts for your yuletide merriment.

Here are some of the more entertaining examples of how your favorite artists do Christmas.
1. Powell’s Christmas banger featuring “Elf” samples

Diagonal Records man-about-town Powell has truly embodied the essence of Christmas by making a body-slamming techno track featuring samples from everybody’s seventh favorite Christmas movie Elf.  It’s lovingly called “Angry Elf (Stocking Mix)” and it’s fuller than an only child’s Christmas stocking with hilarious movie samples.  So many movie samples that you don’t even have to watch that movie this year, you can just go back to screening “Love Actually” for the 39th time while stabbing yourself in the carotid.

Powell made the track for Mary-Anne Hobbs show on 6 Music but it is now live on Soundcloud and available for your holiday needs.

2. Fetty Wap made you a Christmas song

If there’s anything that puts us in the holiday spirit, it’s a less-than-average amount of eyeballs and Top 40 rap. Good thing Fetty Wap just teamed up with Monty producer Ace Swag Beatz to make a festive holiday number called “Merry Xmas,” which sounds like what would happen if “Trap Queen” fell into a holiday ham, but sexual.

I said all I want for Christmas/ Hold up, let’s check my wishlist/ Giving you something different/ I’m where they say he isn’t.”

Bet he’s talking about a new train set.

3. The Mad Decent Christmas mixtape

Christmas is very, very, very decent when you have the booty-vibrating sound sounds of Mad Decent artists like Ape Drums, NGHTMRE and Diplo to shake your stockings or menorah or whatever.

4. Dent May’s “I’ll Be Stoned For Christmas” video

A major theme of many people’s Christmases is getting as high as humanely possible to cope with the immense amount of glitter poinsettias and Frank Sinatra soundtracks, a sentiment Dent May has captured perfectly with his holiday-themed video for “I’ll Be Stoned For Christmas.”

The track premiered via High Times, because that’s a thing you can do now, and features a former Hollywood It Girl named Cherry who visits her small town home for the holidays and has to blaze the dank to get through it. #Same.

Dent May is currently working on a new LP, but you might want to take a minute and listen to this Christmas playlist he made to go along with the original release of “Stoned,” called “I’ll Be Toned for Christmas.” [email protected]

5. This family’s kinda epic Christmas light display

The Johnsons aren’t musical artists per se, but they are the type of family that has their own website … and also the type of family to craft an incredibly loud, brash Christmas light display set to the soothing sounds of Skrillex’s “Bangarang,” so they definitely deserve a spot on this list.

X-MAS BONUS:

And last, but not least … This isn’t from 2015 by any means, but who could forget DMX’s stunning rendition of the holiday classic “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer?” Let’s all take a cue from his Christmas spirit this evening as we frantically buy whatever presents they have left at Super Target for our Dads.

Let’s revisit.