July 16th, 2015


Let me guess: You pound shots for bravado in front of your friends, talk loudly about the NBA draft at parties, and badmouth every person who sits at home every Sunday night to watch Game of Thrones.

You do this to save face though, because if anyone were to find out that you’re all for House Lannister, they’d know the awful truth.

You’re a geek, and you’re proud but not out. You’ve been a geek since the first Spiderman movie was released (team Tobey all the way, am I right?) But relax. It doesn’t have to be a big deal, at least not anymore where Comic-Con has become the Coachella of comic conventions.

So, want to get your friends into the idea of spending Friday night playing Settlers of Catan? As a geek myself, I’ve got a couple tips for y’all.

1. Booze. Always have booze.


Regular game nights with Twister and Cards Against Humanity are always fun, but you’re gonna need some hardcore incentive before anyone decides to come over to your apartment for some Dungeons & Dragons. I’m talking craft beer and a handle of Jameson. I’m talking shots of Jäger or disgustingly flavored Sriracha vodka for your friends to sit through a nostalgic round of dueling with Yu-Gi-Oh! cards. And if they’re not feeling the heart of the cards, just remember this: Every person is two shots away from embracing a Halo gaming marathon.

2. Lure them in with subliminal messages of geekdom


#1 rule about being a nerd? Don’t talk about being a nerd. Just do it. Nike. Ugh.

Imagine your buddies sifting through their business cards to find a Magic: The Gathering card shoved in between them. Ask your friend to let you borrow their phone to make a call and save some Dragonball Z images onto their camera roll. Slip some obscure and semi-obscure references into your conversations, like “Death star” or “Night Walkers” or some Elvish vocabulary and see how they react. Ease them in. That way, when you finally expose them to your true self, it’ll be like they’ve understood you this entire time.

3. Anime? There’s a strain of weed for that.


Excuse me for vying for the cheap, drug and alcohol route, but sorry I’m not sorry  because it fucking works. Invite a friend over for dinner and a bowl to smoke afterward. When you’re both baked as all hell – “Hey, man. Have you ever watched this show on Netflix called Attack on Titan? Or Tokyo Ghoul?”

Anime is getting real, guys, and with Adult Swim‘s booming popularity, so are regular animated cartoons. Inform your friends. Watch some China IL, and prepare to LYAO.

4. Drown your friends in memes


Everyone. Loves. Memes. They don’t need to know their origins. They don’t even need to understand it – but stick a surprisingly well-drawn frog in front of their face and you’ll have them busting up in hysterics. It’s a strange phenomenon, but essential for anyone trying to dive into the cesspool of the Internet – Tumblr, Twitter, 4Chan, whatever. And suddenly, your friends will lose track of their hours laughing at cat videos and Shia LeBeouf. You might lose them in this approach – but at least you’ll always have a buddy who’s constantly awake at 3 AM.

5. Cosplay ’till you die


Have you noticed that Halloween is everyone’s favorite holiday? That’s because aside from memes, everyone also loves dressing up (Halloween… in the bedroom… whatever). Cosplay, is just a more elaborate way to “dress up.” And anything goes at a convention. Batman? Yum. Stormtroopers? Of course. Dudes dressed like Jesus? Hell yeah. Send your friends some awesome cosplay shots (maybe not the one up there…), and insist on doing a group effort. You’d be surprised at how enthusiastic they’ll be to dress up outside of drunken Halloween nights. Plus, your slutty friends can be sexually-generous Sailor Moon. It’s what you make it.

6. Get your gang to a Con


Of course, you’re going to need an outlet to show off that cool Scooby-Doo ensemble cast you organized. That’s where conventions come in. If you’ve ever attended, you know the smelly, and surprisingly satisfactory feeling. If your friends have never been to one, they’re in for a real treat. SDCC is the mecca of geekdom, but you don’t have to live in SoCal to have fun at a con. Check out this helpful list of conventions coming up this year if you know what’s good for you.

So in conclusion, remember that you don’t have to be alone in your geekiness. Inspiring, isn’t it? A little nudge to the Dark Side will grant you a lifetime LARPING partner in no time. May the force be with you, everyone. Happy geeking – and don’t forget to put on deodorant, ya heathens.