There are two types of people in this world: people that answer MySpace surveys earnestly, carefully considering each question as to most honestly portray who they are, as if some greater power would be grading their responses for accuracy. And then … there’s De Lux.
De Lux, for the uninitiated are Sean Guerin and Isaac Franco, and their post-disco dance-punk constantly draws comparisons to Duran Duran for good reason.
See?
De Lux belongs to that special brand of other MySpace survey filler-out-er that answers the questions with whatever comes to mind fist, creating a surreal, Mad Lib-esque spiral into insanity that doesn’t necessarily inform, but most definitely entertains. This subtype of MySpace participant is arguably, without a doubt, 104 percent better than the other one, so suck it.
Was this survey filled out by Sean or Isaac? I don’t know. Is it promoting any particular aspect of their musical endeavors? I don’t know. Does it serve no other purpose other than to inform you that De Lux is fucking hilarious? Nope. Is it full of grievous typos and grammatical sins? Yeah, totally.
And I’m going to leave it that way, because would 13-year-old you have fixed those errors in 2004 when MySpace was God? Fuck nah.
I’m just going to let you dive into this one bareback. Just read their responses, listen to the tunes I sprinkled throughout, and enjoy the rest of your life.
Can you whistle?
Yes
Scariest thrill ride you’ve been on?
Starbucks
Where is your favorite place on earth?
7-11 parking lot
How did you lose your virginity?
Kit Kats
Most awkward kiss?
It was all melted and the wrapper was disfigured. Nobody should be eating chocolate that way.
Whats the last song you danced to?
Curb Your Enthusiasm Intro
Ever had a stalker?
Seagulls
Why do birds suddenly appear, every time you are near?
Matrix glitch
How do you think you’re going to die?
I won’t
What’s your favorite thing about yourself?
I know how to just sit, really well
Would you eat peanut butter out of your best friend’s belly button?
My best friend doesn’t have a belly button
Play any sports?
Fifa
Ever been to a concert?
no
Who did you last hang out with?
Squirrels in my backyard
Pretend I’m giving you an exam:
A. Science
B. 43
C. Aries but occasionally acts like Taurus
D. I forgot where I live
E. None of the above
Favorite thing to do in the summer … in bed?
Jerk off
Something you hate to do?
Breathe
If there was a spider, how would you kill that shit?
Capture him and dress her up like Barbie
Who knows you best?
Mirror me
What’s your earthquake escape plan?
Hide under a desk at a school
What part of your body needs a massage?
313-555-6778 CALL ME ASAP
Last thing you put in your hair?
Hair
Ever had a pogo stick or a Scooter or bike or car or horse or legs or a lai or a latte?
(spinning)
What year did you discover MySpace and how did it make you feel?
2004 and I felt like I found my space
How many kids do you have or want to have?
I have 10 kids. Their names are 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 , 9 and Eddie Murphy
What kind of things did you see today?
All kinds of things maaaaaaan
Best bargain airline?
Still waiting to find the best one. But I hear those military jets are supposed to be pretty good.
What do you do when you are upset?
I cry until someone brings me candy
Funniest song lyric?
” Talkin bout girls, talkin bout trucks”
When was the last time you bro’d down?
Just the other day! Me and my brother went to Ralphs
Are you keeping a secret from someone close? … What is it.
Yes, meet me at Autozone in 15 min and I’ll tell you
When was the last time you threw up?
Basketball
Have you ever led someone on?
On Ebay. Pretending to sell a strobe light to this guy. Feel pretty shitty about it.
What it is?
yeah
What’s the last thing you drank?
Tofu Syrup
What would be the best gift ever?
Disney’s Aladdin on cassette tape
Do you prefer to talk on the phone or text?
I prefer not to talk
Do you believe in global warming?
I do not. I know, because Science
What’s the most controversial thing you support?
Racism
What is your current mood?
Eggo waffles
Who do you admire?
Alaskans
Do you sing in the shower?
Only if the acoustics are right
Are you photogenic?
Only in post
What would you do if you were tickled?
I do not negotiate with terrorists
Do you believe in aliens?
I am one
What would your prison name be?
Morgan FREEman
How would you handle being asked to babysit?
$131 per hour, my final offer. What if the kid dies?! I need to know I can cover the charges.
What do you want to do when you grow up? Retire?
I want to grow down
Is it possible to get you to move without making a noise?
Dexter?
Do you wish on shooting stars?
They aint stars homie, keep up
Favorite smelling group of people?
Janitors
What noise do you currently hear?
Space
:)
De Lux is on tour with Gardens and Villa starting Nov 11; check out this visually/ erotically stimulating tour flyer for dates and locations. They’re in L.A. on Nov 12, so believe you me, I’m taking you and you’re gonna like it.
Check out their latest album, Generation, here.
