You know what’s boring? Album reviews. You know what’s not? Weed GIFs.
See where I’m going with this? Aww, yeah you do, because you can read. I’m combining to two because because journalism is dead and GIFs are our overlord. We must bow down to them if we want to survive in this barren landscape we call life.
So, here’s what I thought of Major Lazer‘s new album, Peace is the Mission, which came out this week … as described by GIFs of people that are having more fun than me in life:
1. Be Together (ft. Wild Belle)
You ever hit the blunt too hard while you’re a little emotionally vulnerable and your violent cough turns into an unstoppable tide of tears as your homies sit there feeling uncomfortable and skittish and pretending they don’t notice? Maybe it summons back memories of the one that got away … that neighbor girl that moved to North Carolina … or perhaps the pizza you drunkenly ate last night and didn’t even truly appreciate it for what it was at the time :( . Well then, be careful with this track because Wild Belle’s heartfelt vocals might just induce a fit of stoney whimpering similar to that described above. Its got the feeeeels man. You may have been expecting a spastic dancehall banger to open up this record, but not quite the case here, kids.
2. Too Original (ft. Elliphant & Jovi Rockwell)
Dry those eyes guys, its time to dance it off like the good lord (Diplo) intended. With the second track, the team fires up the burners for a big room banger that will likely be the subject of a slew of dope remixes headed for the festival circuit this summer. Elliphant’s rapid-fire vocals bounce on top of the punchy kicks that will make you fist pump a hairline fracture into your forearm, although don’t do that. Daddy’s insurance plan has poor coverage. Quite a fun track from ML & friends.
3. Blaze Up The Fire (ft. Chronixx)
Now it’s time to dust off that horrible, fake, white boy Rasta dread-beanie you got from Spencer’s Gifts back into 2007 and continue the party! This is the first track from the new record where Major Lazer hits it heavy with their notorious EDM fusion of dancehall/reggae/trap/moombahton/whatever-you-want-to-call-it. I imagine this would also be a good track to throw on to break the dreadfully awkward silence while you’re waiting for your dealer to weigh out your sack in his living room as his cat stares at you from a distance. Its got enough faux-reggae and trippy dance vibes to please almost any breed of heavy smoker. Nothing too crazy or ground breaking here, just Major Lazer doing their thing.
4. Lean On (ft. MØ & DJ Snake)
“Lean On” is the lead single from Peace is the Mission and is easily the top contender from the record for feel-good anthem of the summer. If this doesn’t make you feel like a lit Arnold Schwarzenegger kicked back in your leather recliner with a plate of chicken, I don’t know what will folks. To no surprise, Diplo and DJ Snake deliver a track that is instantly likeable and disturbingly catchy. So catchy that you can without a doubt, find this one blaring from the backyard of any local neighborhood bro-b-q or pumping in every sweaty Vegas nightclub this summer. It’s also been stuck in my head since I heard it and I hear it when I sleep.
5. Powerful (ft. Ellie Goudling & Tarrus Riley)
Powerful, indeed. This is another one of the heavy-hitters from Peace is the Mission that is easily palatable, yet still masterful with its production. Ellie and Tarrus ride the vibes til there’s nothing but a big fat vibal-wave crashing down over your head. It’s also pretty romantic and would make a great song to play to your male friend if you’re another male and have the sense of humor of a 15-year-old. So hop on your gator and lets riiiide.
6. Light It Up (ft. Nyla)
“Light It Up” is perhaps the most interesting track on the album, featuring a number of strange spazzy elements that somehow gracefully blend together atop a thumpy, upbeat battlefield. R&B reggae duo, Nyla, start the barrage with their eccentric, yet catchy vocal melodies that pull you closer and closer towards the Major Lazer battleship that is just waiting to blast your ass away. When it hits, guaranteed you’ll feel like that pony-tailed hippy man featured above. This track turns from a bouncy “Wooo this is fun!” to a “OH WTF IS THIS” real quick.
7. Roll The Bass
THAT’S IT! THERE IT IS! Open up your EDM reader to Ch.12, Figure 7.9 and you’ll find this song; because this is textbook Major Lazer, guys. I was actually surprised it took up to track seven to find this hell-beast, meth-monster of a track.
8. Night Riders (ft. Travi$ Scott, 2 Chainz, Pusha T, and Mad Cobra)
“Night Riders” is the stereotypical rap-infused dance track this album was waiting for. The featured rappers don’t necessarily bring anything spectacular to the table in terms of lyrical content or flow, but hey, it’s a dance song. Time for the white dudes on the dance floor to channel their inner-gangsta and throw it down for the ‘burbs. People who like real rap will be like “……..k.”
9. All My Love (ft. Ariana Grande & Machel Montano)
“All My Love” is definitely the most KIIS-FM friendly track on the album and quite honestly sounds like it could be a Tiesto song. It’s nothing we shouldn’t have seen coming with a feature from ex-Nickelodeon star Ariana Grande, though. Basic bitches are probably stoked to smoke up to this track and be like “Omg r u serious?! Honestly, I like LOVE Diplo, srsly.” I. CAN’T EVEN. This track is as basic as a 14 on the pH scale.
All in all, solid release from the monstrous EDM act, Major Lazer. Nothing too groundbreaking or unique is found here, but they delivered exactly what was expected of them; a lot of fun tracks to party to this summer.
You can hear a lot of these tracks in the Major Lazer cartoon, which is currently on Hulu. It’s pretty, pretty good. Watch here!
RELATED: SEE MAJOR LAZER AT THE MAD DECENT BLOCK PARTY 2015!
